Tinydoc's first post, 5 months in.

[Sotto]

Hi Rouky, I think that most cheaters probably do love their spouse. However, cheating represents an apparently 'simple' answer to lifes more complex problems. Faced with issues in the M - whatever they may be - sexless, arguing, boredom, MLC, money troubles - it becomes easier to cheat rather than work with your spouse to improve things.

I don't think that means a lack of love. I think it means that the cheater doesn't have the tools in their toolbox to deal in a more constructive way with the problems in hand.

I agree that some cheaters don't feel remorse. However, I think the vast majority of cheaters are generally good people. Cheating is so common I don't believe it could be otherwise. I believe that a minority of cheaters probably don't feel remorse - perhaps some serial cheaters or those who have an exit affair.

So, I guess I don't buy too much into some of the messages above. There is a general message there that 'the cheater is wrong - you are great - you may not want to have them back.' But I don't wholly buy in to that for the reasons above.

Hope this perspective helps and good luck with things xx