If I may, I would like to put this in proper perspective for you (and others).
A lot of the times, the WAS creates their own internal narrative that while "a M didn't work out, a friendly and amicable D is possible" as a means to assuage their own guilt for pulling the plug without trying everything (and telling their friends the same skewed narrative too). Also, in their view, a 'friendly D', usually means that they get their way or expect the spouse to roll over and give them everything they think they deserve. In reading your W's dinner invite, it was her way to check the opponent's position and reassure herself that things are going "according to plan."
I'm not saying that W is doing this with malicious intent, but at a sub-conscious level. They are engaged in fantasy thinking on D where it's all cotton candy and Popsicles. It is important to remember that it's fine to DB all the way...UNTIL the D papers are filed.
This is when the LBS really needs to grow a real back bone and tighten their DB Black Belts. What do I mean by this? In nutshell, you no longer act as their friend or continue offering your friendship because it's now shifted into an adversarial position.
As a matter of fact, data shows that successful DBers convey through their words backed by actions that they will not be friends with their WASes if they do follow through D. This is actually supported by anecdotal evidence here as demonstrated by Sandi's H, Starsky, and most recently...CaliGuy.
Many WASes crumble and fall apart when this realization sinks into their fogged thought processes and usually jars them into the reality of their choices.
