I would say go to it and see what happens. I completely understand the healing and not wanting to go through the pain but who knows what will happen.

My last coach call I was very much in the same thought process you are now and wanted this to just be over so I could heal and stop hurting. I wanted to have 0 hope and ignore the positives in my sitch because it hurt too much to be disappointed over and over. He convinced me to look at the positives and keep on the DB path because we can deal with the dissapointment later.

I know it hurts but don't give up. Maybe we're now at the point where patience is key and if we continental to leave the door cracked something will change.

Accept what is, let go of what was, and have faith in what will be