Five Years Ago Today

[tadpole1025]

Hello everyone. I thought today would be a perfect time for a new thread. My last one can be found here:

XW wants lunch with me and...........OM

Five years ago today on 10/10/10, I got the bomb. While watering our rose bushes in the front yard, out of the blue, my MLCer informed me that she wanted out. It's been a rough five years, but things are getting better. Finally.

First, an update on XW:

I saw her the other night at S22's concert. Wow!!! She looks miserable. It was the first time I had seen her in months. S20 and I were standing outside of the venue waiting for the show to start. I glanced to my left and there she was. Staring at me. I have no idea how long she had been standing there, but the look in her eyes said it all. She is not happy. She walked over to us. She started talking to S20, but continued to watch me fiddle with my cell phone. Finally, I said nothing and went inside.

S29 talks to her more than any of my boys. He told me the other day that she will make a comment from time to time about how I "can't even talk" to her. Haha. It's not that I can't. I just won't. Why would she want to talk anyways? She already thinks I'm terrible and has told her friends and family how terrible I am. S29 also told me that XW and OM have a few disagreements over their dog. Apparently, OM thinks she is too hard on it and yells at it all the time. Sounds like he is starting to get a taste of real XW.

I've mentioned before how she seems to be a "career student." She has been attending college off and on since the early 90's. She's gone from wanting to be: Author/Physical Therapist/Park Ranger/Teacher/Scientist/Business Owner.....it goes on and on. Well, she finally finished school (for now) and got her first job as a teacher. School started in mid August and she got a job teaching Science at a middle school. She quit 2 weeks ago. Unreal. I guess more schooling is in her future.

Now, an update on me:

I'm doing ok. Much better in the last month or so. I'm still not getting out, but I'm working on it.

I still miss my ratties and think about the little babies everyday. I miss them a lot, but it is getting better. S22 has a little female rat that I give treats to from time to time, but I have been trying to be very careful to not get attached.

I've been thinking/wondering lately why God would put me through all of the crap I've been through in the last five years. There has to be a reason. The best one I can come up with is to make me a better/stronger/more compassionate person maybe. I think I might be getting there. I do know that I've changed in areas that I never thought I would. I've mentioned here how I've changed towards animals, but I've also changed in another good way: I appreciate EVERYTHING. I get the greatest joy out of a gentle rain, singing birds, sunsets, fresh cut grass......It's so odd for me. But....I like it. Someone told me a few weeks back that they admire the way I am towards animals. They admire my love and respect for them. Haha. I didn't think it was that obvious, but that's ok.

My "friend" at work continues to be awesome. We still have great talks and have been talking even more. She has started to open up to me a little more about her last relationship. Her best friend told me that we are a perfect match. That would be nice, but for now, I'm okay with just the friendship. She did think of me when she went to Hawaii with her parents because she brought a souvenir back for me.

I've decided to take an Alaskan cruise next summer. I want to go watch the whales. I deserve it. I've really done nothing for me since this mess started 5 years ago. It's time. I thought about going on a singles cruise, but why?

Anyways, that's all for now. Yes, it is the five year anniversary of XW telling me she was joining the MLC circus, but it hasn't been too bad.

Thanks for reading.

Tad