As I understand DB, it's not about saying it's about doing. Since the goal is to draw our spouses back through our actions by showing them a person they want to be fully engaged with, doing a 180, getting a life, and maintaining a positive attitude/behaviors while also keeping detached emotionally is key. We're not supposed to initiate conversations about the R, but (I think) it's OK to respond to what she initiates...but you have to be careful because often the WAS will try to provoke you into negative behaviors (begging, pleading, arguing) in order to further justify their decision. Keeping it to friendly and pleasant but not enthusiastic or needy/aggressive for now is what seems to be called for I think.
