KGirl - letting the past go

[KGirl]

It's been awhile...! I still see a few names I recognize on here (SunnyB, Claire, Maybell) but lots of new names... which is both saddening that there are so many people being thrown constantly into this situation, but I'm also happy that people are coming here and getting some help.

It's funny to read my last few posts compared to my life now Just goes to show you how things can change if you give them some time. When I made that last post in early July, I had gone on a date with a guy that seemed promising, he asked about hanging out again, I didn't hear from him for a few days.. turns out he had a new phone plan and his texts weren't going through (he showed them to me on his phone so I know it wasn't just BS), we kept seeing each other, and now... he's my boyfriend! Whoa. That official conversation happened last week and it was very sweet how he asked me about it The physical part turned out not to be as nerve-wracking or scary as I'd thought it would be. He's a great guy, texts me throughout the day to check in, LOVES my cat and they're best buds now and we are very open in talking about how we feel, concerns we have, etc. He's not the opposite of my ex so I think I'm doing OK there in not purposefully seeking that out. He knows I've been M and hasn't had any concerns about that - when I told him and gave him the short version of the story, his reaction was basically "That sounds really hard... it sounds like you did all you could, though, and did the best you could with what was available." He is a bit more easy-going than I am but we've both worked at meeting each other in the middle. And... he's cute and super tall (I forget who on here was excited about the idea of tall guys.. Maybell?) 6' 4''! and I'm 5' 2''! It's been weird to get used to that (XH was 5' 8'') and I'm sure we look interesting in public but, doesn't matter - I've also worked really hard on caring less about what people might think, and caring about what I think and what's important to ME. There's a really good article on "wait but why" about taming the "mammoth" that cares what other people think. I read it regularly when I feel myself tensing up about that, I highly recommend it.

Keeping busy with lots of things - seeing someone actually takes more time than I thought. I got really used to being happy doing things by myself and not having to take someone else into consideration! Working on letting those walls down and letting someone back in. Sometimes I think it'd be easier just to be by myself and do what I want, but I think the effort will be worth the reward. I just got back from a work conference in Las Vegas this week - yay! Working on getting into better gym and eating habits, reading more for fun, Zentangle, some art/craft projects, working on better money management, and next week I'm starting a beginning yoga class. I finally got up the courage to try yoga - I figured a setting where no one knows what they're doing will be perfect for me!

As for XH...who knows. I rarely think about him and don't really care. I have no desire to check in or see what he's doing. Once in awhile someone will tell me something they saw on facebook or that they drove past the house and usually it just makes me laugh or shake my head. Haven't heard from him since mid-July when he sent me a picture of our cat he thought was cute (why? dunno..) and I just ignored it. He's not a part of my life and I think I've been doing a good job of letting him take up as little space in my head as possible.

All in all, when I look back at where I was a year ago, or even in December 2014, life is looking pretty great! The whole online dating thing (or dating in general) was not as terrifying once I actually met someone I clicked with. My life is very full with that, time with friends and family, social events, work activities and professional development, and other fun stuff. I'm excited to see what the next year brings.