Still riding the waves

[mleigh4]

Hi Sotto. You are spot on with how the feelings come and go. I have found the best thing to do is let them play themselves out. Feeling better this morning.

And yes, H completely presumes that we will spend holidays and birthdays together, and the rest of the time living separate lives. This seems to be working great for him! I used to hope for these get togethers, then appreciated them as it gave me hope, and now 2 years into it, starting to get a little annoyed by them! It may work for him but not so well for me.....I do not want to live much longer like this but for now I let these times play out. I plan on letting him know how I feel about it soon, by Thansgiving and Christmas. Just going to voice how I feel with no expectations from him. It's time. I am ready and willing to spend those holidays separate....I have no desire to spend them with his family, sad to say.....I feel very disconnected from them all, especially since they all act as if everything is normal.....we will see....

Mountain lions are very common here in Cali. They are basically harmless to humans but do go after livestock and, during droughts, follow the prey into neighborhoods. Being a cat lover myself, I think they are beautiful animals. I just don't want one snacking on my dog or cat!

Hi Job. The party is actually a jammie party for S and his friends because it's also a sleepover. No costumes, we are very untraditional! I have a couple of my friends coming by too, so it will be a good chance for H to catch up with them. I am very curious to see if he even comes and how it will go.

I think Costco will be a zinger for H....He seems to enjoy when we all go together, it's like an outing for us and fun....it may even hurt his feelings.....but I have wanted us to have our own membership for a long time and H always insisted that being on his dad's was just fine. There are benefits to being a member that we have been missing out on. I am looking forward to them! Anyway, we can still go shopping together, but for me it's taking an independent stand and cutting another string.

I hope you all have a wonderful weekend