First of all, she is going to make it sound as if she's the victim and that this is all your fault. She wants you to cover for her. She wants no papers about counseling, or whatever laying out for the boys to see, b/c she wants then to believe the two of you are in agreement about the D.
Yes, an EA is an extension of the problems that existed. But it was an affair, and if they work together, I highly doubt it is over for her, b/c of the addictive nature of affairs. You cannot expect the OM to be honorable, if he was dishonorable enough to be involved with a M woman. Maybe it wasn't a PA. But for women, an EA is just as serious.
You don't have to tell the boys their mother cheated. But they need to know there is more to the story than their mother is saying. I won't push you about it. It's your choice.
It is not about what you feel should work in your M. It is about doing the work that gets the right results. Do what works!
