Hi Ken, I'm in the same boat. I'm not only sorry you have to be here I'm also sorry I'm here! My wife has had several EA's with men from church and at least one PA with a man from church. It's always someone from church. She just left me last weekend, and just came back today long enough to tell me she's divorcing me.
So, first, I feel your pain. Believe me.
I see several positives in what you wrote:
- she's still at home - it sounds like she said the D word but maybe hasn't contacted a lawyer or actually started anything yet...which if that's true means you have some time - while many people do leave their spouses for affair partners, she's involved with someone who's married and a church goer which means there's at least a chance that the complications will slow things down, buy you some time. Time is awesome for DB-ing. - based on your sig she sounds conflicted with what she believes
As an outsider it looks to me like you have some things going for you and if you can do the DB basics like not pursuing her, not talking about R, and doing the 180 and GAL stuff, you at least have a little time to work on your own mental/emotional state and give her the space she needs to work things out and decide if she really does want this D or not.
