Hi Klassic! Your H has already agreed to slow everything down. Take the time, right now, to work on you. You need to do this for yourself without delay. You can't even truly begin to work on your R successfully unless you are coming from a healthy place to start with.
I would let H know that you need to make yourself healthy before you can even approach D talk. Since he wants out, you need to focus on getting as strong as you can in order to be a successful single parent. After that (letting him know), no talks about M or D!
You need to be the priority at the moment. I struggle with similar issues and completely understand the havoc created. Fix yourself, first. Then move on to R.
Who knows? H might change his mind if he witnesses you really doing the work for permanent change.
Keep in mind...this work will never end. Now that you know, don't ever let yourself forget. It's the difference between a happy, healthy life and a sad, miserable existence. It doesn't always seem fair, but all people have something they need to deal with in life. This is your struggle - but completely worth winning.
