Here's My Story...Need Guidance

[wiseman]

It's been a few weeks since I posted. I have come to the realization that my marriage is over. I tried giving her space, but she continued to abuse it. She would go out every other night and stay out sometimes until 1, 2, or 3am. After a week or two of this, I asked her how she was doing and she said "she wanted to keep things the way they were". I felt like this was totally unfair and she was abusing the space. I know she is seeing the OM and then coming home to a roof over her head, and food on the table. We officially started down the path of divorce. I have a retainer on a lawyer and so does she. She is actually filing papers today. I honestly wanted to work on addressing what caused our marriage to deteriorate, but she never once hinted that's what she wanted. I am hurt that it has come to this, but I don't see any other way for it to continue or even be rebuilt now. The amount of lies, selfishness, and lack of respect have destroyed what we once had. I kept trying to find the woman I married inside this new person and did everything I could to get her to see the light. I wish things could have been different and she "woke up" (cut off ties with the OM). She was the woman I loved and I may never truly know what got her to the point of no return.

I think my biggest challenges are going to be moving on without her and trusting any other woman again. In our 5 years of marriage, I never saw any signs of this and truly trusted her 100%.