Well, RAI, having read a lot of your posts it seems like your anger is not consistent but crests at moments. It might be worth journaling when you feel it the most to see if you can identify some patterns and maybe avoid some of those trigger situations.
Where are you in the D process? Honestly, when I read your sitch, I frequently think that regardless of whatever outcome you now desire, things will improve when you are in separate households.
By the way - by all means consult with your attorney. But since you are still liable for the debt she is running up, I would certainly consider lowering the limits on those credit cards if you aren't going to close the accounts.