Losers: Wayward Wife & LRT (9)

[Dawgs]

So, tentatively scheduled to get together with STBX on Saturday night. Initially, she suggested just hanging on with the kids but I let her know that I thought it was important for it just to be the two of us. I chose a place that is casual, eclectic, and fun, with lots of stuff going on to engage us if the small talk dries up.

I want to simply have a good time and be in the moment. If I try to hard, STBX will be able to tell. I love asitis' suggestion on creating a safe environment for STBX to feel comfortable being vulnerable.

That sounds like a good idea. I like the safe environment idea. If you are wanting to have a good time and be in the moment, then what is your goal out of it? Just a date, or explore the possibility of trying again? As I have said before, from what you have written it really does seem the door is open but its up to you step through. I am not saying jump in full force with the "I love you" and stuff like that, but let her know in no uncertain terms that you want to try again. Don't be vague and tiptoe around things. Now, unless she really is a vindictive b**ch and playing you, then this seems to be the time. I guess the real question is, do you want to? If it were me, I would take the opportunity because I want to save my marriage. That's a no-brainer.

Jump in but yet take baby steps is all you can do. Baby steps. It seems (and we all know how my advice is counter to all others on here) that you want to, so why not? Really, at this point, what is there to lose? Quite honestly, only you know your W, but from what you have written, its there.

I'm hesitant to go on the attack again in regards to OM. Regardless of R, what's best for my young children is for mom and dad to be able to co-parent effectively. STBX and I are doing well that right now. I have no interest in blowing that up again.

Unfortunately, if you want to give it a go again with your W, then that is what has to be done. She has to know that you won't play second fiddle to anyone...period. Don't take this the wrong way, but if you don't stand up in regards to the OM, then she will view you as a doormat and will continue - with him or maybe even another. If you don't want to try with her again, then just let her continue the A.