I bought a laundry hamper for my room. I have had it for over a month. I am paying for a cleaning lady even though my W is home all day. Somehow it escapes my W to tell the cleaning lady that there is another hamper full of clothes to wash. Every time I come home, I find the hamper full and untouched. I have brought it up in the past. I think my W is conveniently forgetting to tell our helper about MY laundry or worse, is telling her to ignore my laundry. I am very angry about it. I know it would be vengeful to fire the cleaning lady and make my SAH W do more work. It speaks to the larger issue of cake eating. W still uses credit card, cell phone, cleaning lady, all at my expense. She has two small businesses operated from our house that generate nothing (as far as I can tell - she does not share her finances with me). I know this all sounds pathetic and that my W is a freeloader. My L suggested I don't cut off her credit cards so I can monitor her activity - we share debt after D. L also suggested I don't cut off the phone for the same reason. If I ever need access to her phone to prove her illicit activity. Incidentally, I have a friend that just fired the cleaning lady 2 weeks ago. I need to grow a set, I think. Anyone have any suggestions: what to tell W, if anything; what to tell cleaning lady, if anything; just ignore it and wait for D? Stand up for myself? Fire the cleaning lady? Ask the L? I know that my W has told her that I am crazy in the past. Cleaning lady suspects/knows about the A. RAI
