Saw this in vise82's thread. It is pure gold. Thanks Sandi! Reposting in my thread for posterity. Heck, I think I will print it and paste it inside my eyelids so I can see it when I sleep.
Originally Posted By: sandi2
Quote:
What do you mean confident especially with her?
In his interaction with her (male to female), but some includes a wider span. To name just a few..... making arrangements/plans for dates, instead of leaving everything up to her; he is decisive; he is not co-dependent; how he handles himself socially; how he pursues her; how he handles small rejections; how he talks to her, as well as others; standing his ground; taking care of his business; and how he acts in their bedroom. (Of course, for a LBH, he would not date and pursue her). He is not afraid of her. He won't allow her to hen-peck him. He does not take the passive way out; He is not afraid to disagree with her; He is not afraid to override her decisions concerning finances, family, home, etc, when needed. He is not afraid she'll be upset with him, or she'll get angry. He does not avoid conflict with her. He is not afraid to speak up. He is not afraid to call her out on her bad behavior/treatment. He doesn't measure his self-value by what she thinks of him. He doesn't sob, fret and wring his hands, beg, whine, or scream, in her presence. (This does not include suffering, losing a loved one, etc.) He isn't constantly asking her what she's going to do....what she's thinking...if she's changed her mind, etc. He knows how to take-charge, if needed. Although he is considerate, he's not afraid if he doesn't check in with her throughout the day, and/or always asking her what she thinks before he makes small decisions for himself. He is not afraid to GAL apart from her and/or the kids. He does not walk on eggshells.
I think the man she sees in private, and the one she sees interact with others....should resemble each other.
