On the one hand I can see the pattern. I can see the benefit of understanding this if it allows you to confront some of your inner demons that compelled you to stay busy to avoid discomfort. I can see how it can be empowering to realize you can make positive changes for yourself and connect better with those around you.
On the other hand I completely reject the underlying premise which is that somehow these two women were right to leave the old PP because you were defective and couldn't meet their emotional needs.
I am so sick of this notion that we must go through a thousand rebirths and become reincarnated as the Buddha before we can have a good relationship. To me a good relationship is one in which you accept each other's positives and negatives. No one is perfect, and the idea that someone deserves better than the person they were given from God to partner with through better or worse is the work of the devil.
There, I feel better now. Keep driving when it makes sense to drive, keep growing when it makes sense to grow.
Thanks Zeus, I see both sides of it too. In both cases, I was in unique periods of my life. In the first one, I was working and going to school. This happens to people in their late twenties that want to advance themselves. Granted, on top of it I also had some hobbies, and was distracted. In the case of my M, my W came back into my life right after I started a company. She knew that. Granted, I started two additional ones.
But, I also closed two down, the last being closed down 8 months before BD. I've also read a number of biographies in my day and so many of them talk about the craziness of a period in the author's life. A period when they were building a business, or writing their first screenplay or what have you. They talk about how their spouses were supportive because they knew there was a light at the end of the tunnel and that light was going to support them for a long time.
When my W left, our company was right at the point where my partner and I could start to come and go as we pleased, we were abler to chose our own hours etc. I know she left for a number of reasons, and this one frustrates me.
Still more rope to drop and detaching to do. Thanks for your thoughts.
PP
M 39 W 36 T5 M3 BD - 1/15 Separated - Same Day Served 9/15 D finalized 6/17
