First I am sorry that this is where you find yourself currently. One thing I have mentioned to you before. The M isn't over just because of D, that's just a piece of paper, you will still have the emotional D to deal with; and lots of opportunities to continue to change this around. Remember, she will be in your life forever.
With that said, I would be friendly, cordial, civil and happy. This does not define you, yes is tough, it hurts a lot, and it will continue to hurt. Regardless of where we are currently, remember that we will eventually get to a better place, so why try to prolong it. Put a smile on your face, say Hi, small happy talk, and then say, enjoy your evening.
In court, I would take an attitude of love, don't fight over the small stuff, don't allow your lawyers to feed you adversarial things, she is not your enemy, she is the mother of your children, and if at the minimum, that's reason enough to want her to be happy.
Much love brother, I am praying for you and your family.
M: 34 W: 33 S: 7 S: 14 months BD: 6/2015 Separation: 6/2015 Back and Forth between Home and Moms
That's the spirit brother, you are doing great. Keep your head up. Don't be afraid of court, this is just one more obstacle, which you can turn around. Come from a place of love, don't allow yourself to lose your cool or be talked into any tic for tac.
Start thinking and writing down your best case scenario for D, and do the same for worst case. What do you want out of it? Joint Custody? The TV in the living room, What is to happen to the house, etc. Go in there prepare for the worst but expecting the best.
God is with us brother, as well as our wives, they might not be who we married, but they are still important women in our lives and our children.
M: 34 W: 33 S: 7 S: 14 months BD: 6/2015 Separation: 6/2015 Back and Forth between Home and Moms
So I am feeling better this morning, took a sleeping pill and knocked me out, I slept great.
Woke up feeling good, I will not let this D drown me in fear, it is in GODs hands I will simply walk in faith that everything is for the best.
I thank GOD for my children, my son has been talking to me about GODs plan and how he wants us to be in times of despair, I think its beautiful the way he is speaking to me. I thanked him for talking like that and to never change that attitude of faith, I am truly blessed even in the midst of the storm.
Today is exchange, I will be cordial, polite with a smile on my face.
I have plans this weekend, going to a Rock Climbing gym with a new Friend from my workout class.
Then have sushi with a group of people I workout with one of them is leaving to the corrections academy, maybe new future friends? =)
“For I am about to do something new. See, I have already begun! Do you not see it?” (Isaiah 43:19, NLT)
First let me comment on the things you posted earlier.
Don't worry about the future, God is good, and what he has plan for your will be what happens; with that said, If she makes more than you, I wouldn't worry about Alimony, the kids? Make sure you file for joint custody, make sure you log when you got them and your exchanges.
I am glad to read about how you are feeling much better, and glad to hear about your new GAL activities and possible future friends. Keep it up, life will only get better.
God Bless.
M: 34 W: 33 S: 7 S: 14 months BD: 6/2015 Separation: 6/2015 Back and Forth between Home and Moms
I have been feeling a little better knowing W isn't coming back and even if she would things would never be the same.
I know this may not apply to you, but even when there is reconciliation, things will never be the same as before. For instance, you two are different people than when you were married. You grew and changed and so did she. But what that means is that one should never expect to go back to the old ways. Its a new path and a new day.
There are moments in this life when you are so confident in the rightness of your actions, that not even for a second do you consider the option that you might be wrong.
Thank you EMmess, I have been feeling a little better knowing W isn't coming back and even if she would things would never be the same.
The trust is gone, the feeling of being, betrayed, deceived, lied to, cheated, taken advantage of, mistreated, etc. would be too much to overcome.
I've seen too much to get it out of my head and be "OK' with it.
Time to toughen up, the next bump on the road is coming, I'm in the middle of the storm but I can and will get through it..
I believe and declare that things will get better soon!
Sounds like you're coming into acceptance of everything, which is a healthy attitude. I'm in about the same place emotionally as you, and only recently so still adjusting. I really wanted to make it work again with WW, out of guilt for my part in the breakdown, out of sadness for the kids, out of sheer loneliness, out of an obligation to my vows.
But after months watching WW continue to live out her fantasy with OM and make constant attempts to legitimize the A as a real relationship, including trying to force my kids to spend time with him, and recently introducing him to her immediate family, I decided I had enough. I still don't believe it will last between them, but I'm done holding onto hope. The path to R would be a long, hard road, requiring extreme remorse and commitment to change from WW, and I don't see her ever reaching that point.
You seem to be doing well, and your faith will carry you through. I do believe God has a plan for all of us, and when we look back at this time in our lives a few years from now, we will be able to see all the positive change that came out of it. Yes, there is tremendous pain, but that is the catalyst for growth and change. Stay the course and celebrate the things in life you still enjoy.
Me 47 W 42 T 24 yrs M 18 yrs W living with OM BD1: 3/7/2015 (A with OM#1) BD2: 4/11/2015 (A with OM#2, W moves out) WW filed for D, papers received 9/18/2015. Meeting to determine child custody 9/29/2015.
I completely understand your feelings brother, I am afraid that my wife would do something to truly make this situation unsalvageable for some time. I feel your pain; continue to pray, forgive, have faith. If the our good Lord wants it to be, it will be. We can't see the whole picture, but need to have faith that it is good.
Focus on yourself, continue to find yourself, continue to use this time to forgive yourself and her, and eventually you will get to a great place. I am on the same journey as you my brother, and want you to come out of this a great man.
God Bless
M: 34 W: 33 S: 7 S: 14 months BD: 6/2015 Separation: 6/2015 Back and Forth between Home and Moms
