XW's fog lifting, wants to work on fixing us

[gogofo]

I want to go dark right now while we are still in the same house. it is very hard but i am open to anything at this point. any pointers?

Going dark while living together is difficult. I did not do it well at all. At the end when living together I would retreat to my own area and not communicate with her. I would only be around when the kids were there. When they were asleep, I would go to my own place. It was difficult and don't know if I did that good of a job.

When moving into my old house my attitude changed and the XW wanted to still be friendly; I was done being friendly. She was milling around one afternoon as I was emptying the closet and I just ignored her. She was surprised and hurt that I wasn't there talking with her the whole time.

When talking about that time she said she realized that I was not going to be her friend and had cut her out of my life. She said it was something she never considered, she thought we would be friends for life and have a good relationship. I told her I never wanted to be her friend and would not be friends with her. We are either in a relationship or we are acquaintances. She said it was at that point that it was obvious.

If you two live in different places it will be lots easier. I barely acknowledged her existence. I would say "hi" but other than that I would not even look at her. My attention was with the kids and I would make each interaction as short as possible.