I looked into her eyes. They couldn't lie. I can't really describe exactly how they looked but they gave away everything. Everything I had just heard was true. She did this thing that our neighbor was accusing her of. I was in absolute shock. There's no way this could be possible. Our eyes were locked. I guess she could see what was happening in me because she screamed/cried and ran back into the house. She locked herself in the bedroom.
In the meantime most of the street are in their front yards watching this circus of horrors going on in my front yard. About that time two police units come down the street with lights flashing. They stop, get out, draw weapons, and order me to the ground with my hands behind my head. They assumed I was some kind of domestic abuser and figured the lady in my front yard was my beaten wife. This snapped her out of it a bit and she told them what was going on (they didn't care what I had to say). They let me up. I'm an educated man in an upscale suburban neighborhood and I'm living out my own Cops episode. Wonderful. The police follow me into the house to check on my wife's welfare. She has locked herself in the room and won't come out claiming she's going to kill herself. They tell her they're about to break the door down which also snaps her out of her craziness.
They leave and apologize to me for everything that is happening. Tell me to keep a level head. I'm still in shock so I haven't reacted in any way yet. That was to come later.
What followed was about 2 years of pure hell. Alcohol (I had never been a drinker and now I can down a bottle of Jack with the best of them), drugs (I have chronic pain from a service-related injury so the VA hospital gives me an endless supply of Vicodin), suicidal level depression, separation, crying, screaming, sadness, hate, etc. It was pure hell.
For my MLC I bought a motorcycle and started up a band. For hers she had a PA with our neighbor for about a year. I have the entire truth now. They did things that she and I have never done in our entire married lives. Not because I didn't want to but because she thought they were disgusting and degrading. I loved her and respected her so I never pushed it. To me marriage is about compromise. Give and take. You can sometimes want things your way but not everything. You have to be unselfish. At least that's how I feel.
Well, it's two+ years later. We're still in counseling. Never did divorce. She lost her career over this. He lost his career and family over this. His wife hates my wife with every fiber of her being. I have been close to divorce many times. I just didn't know how I can get over this. I've never really believed in God (was raised in a purely atheist house) but I think I do now. When I was teetering on whether I can forgive (and forget, you have to do that too), I was leaning more toward D. She had moved back in for the sake of our daughter (the A crushed my wife and D's relationship, she hated her mother for two years and my D put on close to 40 lbs in that time). I was feeling limbo. I knew I couldn't trust her. The A was long gone. She never had real feelings for the guy. Always loved me with all her heart.
The A was an escape from a life that she wasn't sure she really wanted since she had never been single and willing to explore everything. She figured she'd get it out of her system and they'd both move on and their spouses would be none the wiser. Oops.
I've evolved from hating cheaters with ever fiber of my being to trying to understand what was going on in their head that would allow them to break the most sacred vow I think a person can make in their lifetime...
