I'm new here but I don't really need advice. My situation is mostly in the past and we're much healthier now than before. I've told my story on other infidelity/marriage/relationship boards so if you frequent the other big-name boards on this subject you've probably seen.
In a nutshell: We married at 19. Everyone said that's too young, don't do it, but we did it and it was amazing. I love my wife so much. It was Camelot. A wonderful life and I wouldn't trade it for anything. My time in the Marines when we were first married. The missing her as I was deployed and eventually sent off to war. The homecomings. Sharing all of life's adventures together. After the Marines we were flat broke. Two boys at the time, very young, and still madly in love. Of course we were normal and had arguments like any healthy couple but nothing ever really bad. Nobody ever left the house or slept on the couch. We would never go to bed angry.
Life got better. We put ourselves through school with a hellish schedule (full time crappy min. wage jobs, full time school, full time parents). It was hell but we had each other and our family so it was actually fun. We got degrees, great careers, dream house in the burbs, the right cars, the right clothes, the right friends, etc. You know the story.
Flash forward to age 45. We were getting older. We all wonder is this all there is to life? Is there nothing more? Nothing greater? We started what we now know were our midlife crises. I got really depressed. I thought I hated my chosen profession. I definitely hated the company I worked for. I figured it was time to change things up. Took a new job half way across the country and the whole family moved. I also bought a Harley and started a garage band with some other middle-aged office worker guys that wanted to regain some youth. All with my wife by my side.
She had a much worse time. Got really depressed. Crying fits out of nowhere all the time. Started getting nastier with me and the kids. Both boys were adults by then but still close to us and none of us knew what was going on. I tried everything. Hate your job? Quit, I'll be here for you. Wanna go back to school? Wanna go climb mountains? Want to take salsa dance lessons? Whatever she needed, I would be there for her. I even went as far as to say want a new life? It'll hurt but if you need to leave me then I can't keep you. Go have a new life and we'll part friends. She'd say "that's ridiculous, you're the only part of my life I'm sure about."
We went on as is for over a year. She was always upset. Then she'd be nice and sweet, then angry, etc. I was so upset every day but wanted to be strong and support her....continued below.
