LBH w/ a WW trying to save my M

[gs9]

Nope, no need to reassure anyone. Just breathe and come here before you do anything. Focus on the mediation and relax. Mediation can get heated, stay calm and resolute. Your WW may try to bait you into an argument. Breathe...

Thanks Thornton. There was a point prior to mediation starting that she tried to bait me and she got a little out of me before I walked away.
Initially we were sitting in the hallway. I was reading on my phone and can see her staring at me. I stopped and we just stared at each other for several minutes. She began crying. After another minute or so she walked away. When she returned she said " I believe you're ready for this too. Someone who wanted to reconcile wouldn't have a code on their phone. You wouldn't be working out and getting lean to look good. You're getting ready for your next girlfriend." I said "please don't make assumptions about how I feel or what I'm thinking." She then went into her old routine about how I ended our marriage when I was unfaithful...... I told her I didn't have to listen to her mouth anymore and I walked away. I returned a couple minutes later and told her "We can't change the past. We can effect today and the future with our choices. All of this is her choice." She said " no you choose to end our marriage when you cheated." I said "no, I chose to reconcile, repent and ask for forgiveness. You're choosing to end our marriage now." She walked away.

Mediation was cordial. We agreed on parenting times. There was a lot of time spent talking about one of us moving out. In a very emotional time while with the mediator alone I asked her to type up something that would protect me if I were to decide to move out. It also included each of us seeing IC's a minimum of 1x week. WW agreed to see her IC 2x month.

After mediation I hit the gym and then my IC. Working out really clears my head. I realized I was considering an emotional decision to move out. I was trying to manipulate my WW to see her IC more frequently and elicit emotions from her. Hoping if I moved out she would miss me and her love for me would grow again. I know from the wonderful ppl on this forum that this does not work. I told her I would consider it and pray about it for a couple days but I already know the answer is I'm not moving out. It's completely against the advice here, my IC's advice and what I hear God telling me. We agreed I would give a decision by the 20th but I'm going to men's retreat this weekend and will tell her when I return.