she is not a WW or WAW as the EA does seem over, her actions have changed and when I did do some checks she was where she was supposed to be.
We are still adjusting and she says she needs time and space to work her s**t out. I am giving that to her and acting as a sort of lighthouse as sometimes I am now leading where she used to and taking control of the house or some chores.
For a woman who entered an EA and sent loving notes and inappropriate pics though not nude, she is anti sex on any level.
Crack a sexist joke it is not her cup of tea. Today we spoke about some boards with Calvin Klein models and G strings and how I bought her some fancy ones years ago when she looked great in them and she wanted to get off the subject. She doesnt like or watch erotic films but read novels with explicit sex scenes by a famous woman writer... megan somethng.
We still do not shake any sheets and she does not initiate at all any form of contact. I am divided as to continue giving her hugs and or spooning in bed or backing off. On the one hand I read woman need this contact that does not always lead to sex as they need to feel secure emotionally, etc. On the other hand I read backing off is the thing to do and let her initiate. I also read that intimacy, especially non sexual is something they treasure. Therefore her coldness gives me a bad feeling.
How long I will continue? Don't really know.
I need physical contact on all levels, I am not asking for the whole package now just real actions or proof that things will change.
I am worried that continuing like this we return to room mates or the sex-is-a-chore relationship I hated.
My final goal is pretty clear... if there will be no sex nor affection our R is pretty much over. It is unnegotiable. It is not control, just my desire. She can leave and live a sexless R with someone else or by herself. Not my issue and not with me.
