Everytime we seem to be helping you then turn around and pull a gremlin out of the hat.
Your incessant desire to make your W happy, not tread on her shoes, worry about her thoughts has cost you your self respect, her respect for you and those of your children.
The unlimited power you gave her she has not administered well and now you are paying the consequences.
Until you get your children's respect back I really see it complicated.
I had problems with my own S and I first had to earn his respect, remind him who i was. Not xxx but dad. What I stood for and yes I messed up but acknoweldged it and was going to change that. Children are forgiving. A wife can be an EX. A child is forever.
One problem you do have is to learn how to talk to your family. I think the way you say things is as important as what you say.
With all of these issues i am really not surprised your W wants out.
You gave her unlimited power, never stood your ground, she messed up, you didnt help and now she sees a broken jigsaw on the floor and doesnt know where to start on her own. Result, say sc**w it and want out.
You have to pick up the pieces only know they are not cardboard but glass and you have to be very delicate which judging by your constant desire to do things your way and then say mea culpa doesnt help.
I dont think you have reached the point of no return but you do have your work cut out. A LOT of it.
A piece of advice... honesty doesnt work with a WAS but it may work with children as does actions.
Oh and one final point... you mentioned twice about free lawyer charges and cheap cost of divorce yet you buy your daughter a pony? i dont get why you mention this fact. If I had the money to spend on a pony I would get the best lawyer to help solve this and not worry about freebies.
