May your fantasies come true

[Ggrass]

To be real honest think is sad but funny at the same time.

It's not my job to punish nor do I operate that way, but life does have a way of giving you consequences.

To things I wanted to talk about that list nilla did about nc and moving on it was good. I sort of did that without even realising. Another thing on top of that I have done deliberately was take all xh2 deliberate complaints of things I couldn't do or was character wise and broke them down to a list.

1 I can't cook...
Well I hosted dinners now with bf each time I cook I remind myself of ^ and laugh at how nice dinner was last night home made pizza including the dough. All from scratch. Tick projection

2. Dishonest
Well that's not true and each time I answer something it's honest. I make sure. Tick projection

2. Lazy
Well just look back Thru some threads where I talk about my 12hour work day and how this year instead of a full time and 3 other assorted casual jobs I have 2. Tick projection

3. Didn't pay my share. (Was a taker)
Looked thru xh2 last year of statements showed where I paid and just how much...
Big tick I did my share and more hence I broke

4. Other big ticks include mean nasty angry arumenative for the sake of argument.
Big tick for projection here. bf States for the angry often in very stressful sitches "how can you be so calm?"

Things I heaped on my self included being trusting enough and realaxed enough to be intermit in the bedroom and enjoy. These I ticked off. Before bf, with a gb bootie call.
I proved with all the rubbish that I can and my worth wasn't dictated by him. Ever.

I do know my list won't stand for lots I allowed before. I won't allow myself to be assaulted even as xh2 said accidentally. Nor will I allow those humiliating behaviours he used so well in the guise of making me better.

I also just won't be bothered thinking I can offer others anything they need. They need something they can just ask. I won't help out expecting a return either that was a complaint of xh2 he never got enough return on investment. That's not any kind of r friend or otherwise I want to be in.

Something I will advise any one who reads make a list of complaints it was talked about here. If you are like me and unsure due to abuse how true and where you might need to work on your self see if others make similar complaints.


Tick off the list, you might be surprised how much isn't valid. As cadet says spend the time.