Six to Nine

[mahhhty]

Bulldog - First, thanks for continuing to look in on me. Thank you! Its been a long road, but you were one of the first responders to my sitch.

It's a nice letter. I always strongly believed she was/is wayward (and OM is probably a married man since he hasn't surfaced yet). The illness actually gives me reason to suspect that a 29 year old wife MIGHT divorce for other reasons (like I don't want to live my last few years on this planet in this miserable unhappy marriage, I might take on a single life and live a little while also helping my husband move on without me).

You did always believe she had an OM. I believe in a way I have convinced myself of that as well. However, I think someone in her family would have told me by now. Which if it is true, it will be even worse for her (she is the closest with family).

Someone along the road told me a story of someone who divorced their husband, only to strengthen the bond between H and kids, before she passed of a serious illness. I've heard that story.

Anyway...IF she's wayward...this letter is nice out for her. It'll just reinforce the rationalizations and justifications she already told herself.

From a sales point of view I wonder if you haven't walked past your close. There is no call to action. There is no - "in case you haven't noticed, I've actually still willing to reconcile, I know I act like I'm moving on but I'm obviously still hopeful. It's been almost a year since you moved out and I just wanted to apologize, clean up my side of the street and let you know I did cherish what we had and wish I had done things differently. That being said, we made a great couple and we could do it again AND our kids deserve any shot we can give them towards having an intact family. Therefore, I am not begging you nor giving you any kind of ultimatum. We are divorced...I fully understand that. However, if there is ANY semblance of an opportunity to even consider discussing reconciliation of our marriage and family...speak now.. Time is of the essence. something like that ....in your words.

Absent a call to action- you are just being nice to her and hoping she reads between the lines. A man says what he means and means what he says. If you still want to reconcile and feel you need to write this letter as a last ditch shot to get back together...then just tell her that.

I agree that this letter provides her with the ammo to believe she is the victim. I also agree with the concept of a call to action, and that if it is what I want I should just say it.

I'll have to think about it. I have no idea what that would be like. I do believe our story and our children deserved us to at least attempt reconciliation. But that was a year ago now.

Thought provoking as always GB!