You have such a wonderful way of expressing yourself. I'm sure your post was an inspiration to many of us.
Quote: But yeah, things are mostly good in my corner of the world. I have so much to be thankful for every single day. And I love so much about my life. It's not perfect, but it's what I make it every day.
I love this. It's so easy to get focused on what we don't have -- a relationship with our S's -- and forget to appreciate what we do have. I have to remind myself every day.
Quote: Dropping the emotional attachment is what helped me grow too... though I've been guilty of picking it back up off the ground a few times here and there... and I harbor sneaking hopes that letting go is doing the same kind of growth magic on my H.
Yup, yup, can relate to this intensely. I'm sure you know!
And finally, it's always great to have Bridget stop by, the girl of magic and cherries and red guitars!
Hi Wonder! I'll echo "Undies" thoughts from her post the other day and just want you to know I am lurking for a few days while I get caught up with everyone's sitch's........
I have been off the bb for over a month and as you know even one day away and lots can happen ...
Looks like overall you're still doing really well and doing some teriffic things about boundaries for yourself...
I'll post more later...just want you to know I have you in my thoughts and prayers...
Your post has given me an uplifting of strength and I want to thank you for your support and concern for me. I have been in my cave and slowly coming out.
Wow! Thanks to all of you for the uplifting and motivating posts! I feel so much stronger after reading them... yes, that would be me, sucking in all your positive energy.
And Trish! How good to hear from you! It's been a while. I hope you are doing well.
Quote: I like to believe that if he LET himself he could/would love me again. I think that is why he is so afraid to let his guard down too much with me....It's like we are KRYPTONITE!!!!!!!!
Oh, this just cracked me up, SS! I feel like this too. Like, OK, let the guard down already. Because we've seen what happens when he does.
Today got a very businesslike 2 line email from H about my web site in response to my nice warm one about web site. I responded in kind. What else to do?
I am finding lately that other people aren't so afraid of my Kryptonite powers (or their own). And I am starting to appreciate that.
SS and Azure, the sign seems to be on the back again these days!
The papers--initial filings-- are sent in and no word from H yet about that. No words at all, actually. My H has gone silent. No signal.
I'd like to believe that is a positive thing. Not sure I can though.
I have had a busy week... amazing amount of work and social activity for one week, at least for me. It's been good for my state of mind.
I keep wondering... am I in LRT? ALRT? What IS this? And does it matter what it is? I realized today that I am an old-school romantic... I never thought of myself that way. But it's true.
Tonight I turned down two invitations for drinks and went and bought myself some flowers. Guess I am romancing myself these days.
Sooooooo, the sign is on the back again, huh?? I want to know where we find these transition guys Lee was talking about!!!!!! Actually I think I am still too busy enjoying being alone....maybe I'll be ready soon!
Don't you hate the business-like emails? Sometimes it is easier to not hear from them at all instead of getting those "formal" contacts! UGH!!!!!
Happiness is like a butterfly: the more you chase it, the more it will elude you, but if you turn your attention to other things, it will come and sit softly on your shoulder.... (thoreau)
Yeah, Lee, the email needed a response, though simple and brief. H is helping out with web site and giving good advice. I appreciate what he is doing.
SS, not sure where we find them. Or if I am ready for that either. Well, actually I know that I'm not. I'm sticking with my friends and myself for a while.
The sign is on the back for sure, though! It's really kind of amazing... and kind of fun sometimes.
I am feeling good about where I am at, and I think if I knew that OW was out of the picture, I would approach all of this a bit differently right now.
But I think that if H decides to keep that person in his life, he is showing me some clear messages about who he is and what he stands for, and I don't mean that judgmentally. I mean I'm not willing to pretend it's OK as I would not do that with any friend.
So I guess for now, that is where I am at. I'm focusing on me and if H wants to be in my life, he can show me OW is gone and show me his behavior and words can be trusted again. I'm willing to take leaps of faith because I love him, but if H is not willing to do his parts, I don't think I'm interested in having *any* kind of R with him given all that has occurred.
I'm certainly going to be friendly when I hear from him and continue to present my best self and hope that things turn the corner. I believe that is possible. But I think I've left the rope in the other room.
My H's horoscope said last weekend that H is regretting what he threw away to get where he is now, but that this change doesn't have to be permanent. I need not to read these things!
Quote: I'm certainly going to be friendly when I hear from him and continue to present my best self and hope that things turn the corner. I believe that is possible. But I think I've left the rope in the other room.
WOW!!!! You sound AWESOME, Wonder!!!!
Keep up the great work!
That is so interesting about the horoscope. I definitely agree that your H will or already does regret losing you, as I think mine does too. I think they are too stubborn to admit they made a mistake!
BTW, I am proud to say I stopped reading H's a while ago....another sign of detachment??!
Happiness is like a butterfly: the more you chase it, the more it will elude you, but if you turn your attention to other things, it will come and sit softly on your shoulder.... (thoreau)
Quote: I think they are too stubborn to admit they made a mistake!
Sometimes I definitely think this too... that there is a fair amount of face-saving thinking happening here. I think this because H has said plenty o'times that he made a mistake, made poor choices, created a nightmare, lost things that really mattered to him, had a good life with me, etc., etc.
Maybe my earlier post sounded a bit harsh, though I don't mean it to. It's just that while I think I've weaned myself off the fear and trauma that caused my worst DBing moments, I don't have much desire to spend any time on the path he is on either-- unless he is walking in another direction.
There is an interesting article in O Magazine about love being "all in our heads" this month. Kind of the quantum physics approach to DB, I thought-- that how we think about our partners and our R affects how we experience them, how we act, and how they act too.
Quote: I think they are too stubborn to admit they made a mistake!
Sometimes I definitely think this too... that there is a fair amount of face-saving thinking happening here. I think this because H has said plenty o'times that he made a mistake, made poor choices, created a nightmare, lost things that really mattered to him, had a good life with me, etc., etc.
Maybe my earlier post sounded a bit harsh, though I don't mean it to. It's just that while I think I've weaned myself off the fear and trauma that caused my worst DBing moments, I don't have much desire to spend any time on the path he is on either-- unless he is walking in another direction.
There is an interesting article in O Magazine about love being "all in our heads" this month. Kind of the quantum physics approach to DB, I thought-- that how we think about our partners and our R affects how we feel, how we experience them, how we act, and how they act too.
...
Actually I think I am still too busy enjoying being alone....maybe I'll be ready soon!
