I know the panic you are experiencing, I really do. It's awful and your mind will run 100mph with thoughts and memories.
I can tell you this, what you are experiencing is normal considering the circumstances. You want to keep your family intact and have a loving attentive wife.
But for right now, she's not there ok? That doesn't mean she won't come back. I'm proof of this DB stuff working.
Re-read Sandi's 37 rules and print them out. Keep them in your car or wherever you can easily access them (DO NOT let your W find them - they are only for you). Re-read those rules every single time you are going to talk to your W.
Right now your W is saying and doing stuff to convince herself that she is doing the right thing. DO NOT argue with her about her feelings or try to convince her that she isn't seeing things clearly. That will only re-enforce her feelings. She has to process this stuff and it's common, very common, for walk-aways to re-write their marital history. It's how they relieve themselves of the guilt of breaking up their family.
In the meantime, you need to become the person that only a fool would leave. What does this person look like? Confident, capable, busy, successful, an AWESOME father, able to stand on his own two feet.
Here's the kicker.. you don't feel like any of this ^ at all right now, do you? You're going to have to fake it in the meantime E. I had to do the same thing.
Anytime I would talk/text/email WAW, I took a moment and calmed myself. I then put on my academy award acting front and acted like I was doing fine (and not in a jerky way). I was friendly but acted like I didn't have too much time to chat because I was going to go do something awesome and I was running a little late.
Does that make sense?
Also, read some of the success stories, every single one of them was devastated at first but had to take the leap of faith to do this DB thing.
