I'm in the camp of seeing you develop passion in the non profit world. Somehow, I think it will bring you unexpected joy and fulfillment.
Don't forget the real yucky reason people typically hire forensic accountants: to find hidden assets that some spouses deliberately squire away to remove them from the settlement. I know in the course of my time here, I've recommended going that route to a few posters who think I'm being over the top. Then they find out later on that the ex did just that and they're furious. I think most of our spouses (or former spouses) aren't that devious, but some certainly are.
Interesting that RD addressed detachment with you. You know that you can get most of what you want (things in writing, stability, specifics) out of the process without any added emotion, right? Those holidays were something the court required us to hash out at the beginning. I actually looked at the damn decree a few weeks ago (I was purging files) and laughed. We do almost none of it now. But in all fairness, in the beginning of the process, it was very comforting to know that we had that document to guide us if we ever ran into road blocks.
Re mothers day. Ours is written so that I have them on MD and he has them on FD. At some point, we both wanted to celebrate by doing things we wanted to do - sans kids. It changes with the year. So we now agree to agree on what the honored parent wants to do. Now it only applies to my youngest, but we've learned to make our split work for us. I think you and your H have the skill sets to do it too.
Just know that once you get this behind you, you can always tweak things if he's not the kind of person to take you to task for wanting to change things up. Picture harmony and you will get it.
What would you guys think if you let your youngest tell you what she wants and see if you can both make it work? She's old enough and you both seem like you get along and respect each other and the process. Plus we both know what your D will really want. So why be the bad guy?
Hugs to you- Betsey
"There are only 2 ways to live your life. One is as though nothing is a miracle. The other is as though everything is a miracle."
