Max, thank you for your perspective. I know my H is in a hard place, its not like he was raised in a functional home and then dropped into this sitch. His mother knows how to manipulate him and she is "winning" and his father is in on it too. Its an all out war against me, but I am not fighting. I do not think it is easy on H, and I believe just as it is with affairs, the wayward spouse has to somehow justify his/her actions by demonizing the spouse. I think H started doing that with his EA and then when his parents got wind of it, it was their opportunity to finally get their way in to H's head.
My S11 now cries hysterically every time my D walks into the room because she is "teasing him." Yes, she is mean. But he cries even if he just sees her through the window or hears her voice. She is teasing less, and he is crying more. I believe the dynamic doesn't have to do with her at all, but that he does not have a positive male role model for handling his emotions.
It is all such a mess.
And Ghost, sorry to hijack your thread. I am excited for you for your dance lessons? What kind of dance? I would love to take a "social" dance class as I look like some kind of crazed jogger or lunatic while attempting to dance at weddings and such.
Also Ghost, maybe set some goals at the gym?
Bench press 80? Then 90? Specific measurable goals so you can track your progress. And yes, buy a couple of updated gym clothes and look the part.
