As much as I know the going dark I originally thought was a tactic to get her back (and still hope to a degree) I do see it will be for me.
It's kind of both, in my opinion.
On the one hand, for her to really give R a consideration, I think it's necessary that she lives her life without you. I dont think if you remain friends through this that she will ever experience the "loss" would help break the "fog".
On the other hand, going dark by itself is not really a oslution to win her back. It's not like you hide out in a closet for 6 months, and she comes running back to you. The process of going dark allows you to start implementing change without 1) feeling like you need to show off every little thing, 2) pressuring her to notice changes, 3) adjusting your goals based on her, and so on. Basically, it allows you to mold yourself as YOU want and not as you think would please HER.
Understood. I know everything i am doing currently i play out to see what she will think of it. once the move happens that will not be the case. I know it will be very hard at first then get easier for me. Getting over the hump of the reality is the hard part. I dont have a doubt that i will be ok in the long run, but i do want to give this every chance while i still feel i want it to work. only time will tell now. thank you all
M 37 W 34
T 12 M 8 D 7 S 4
Need break 4/12/15 W no ring 7/7/15
Separate room 4/12/15 Separate living suggested 8/15 W moved out 11/1/15
