Hi folks! Time for an update.

I called H about the insurance and he transferred the money immediately. Said he'd forgotten (no mention of my email reminding him). H apologized. As I was about to end the call, H asked if I'd "made progress" with the papers. I said yes, I'd made progress and H started peppering me with Qs about when I'd mailed them, etc. Like this was the best thing he'd heard all day.

I told him I felt it was inappropriate to pressure me about these papers without answering my Qs about why he was making the decision. It just came out. We talked a bit and it wasn't a great conversation. I was upset afterwards.

Later I called him back and said I wanted to be sure we communicated what we were trying to given that H was at work-- not a good time for us to talk because neither of us gets the attention we deserve. H agreed.

I let H know that I understand his tendency to withdraw and sort things out is just part of who he is, that it's OK to just tell me that is what he needs to do-- that it's fine to say you don't know what to say right now, you need to think on this, etc. H seemed to appreciate this and said he will "remember this" with me in the future, all he has to do is say.

I said I had no idea why H was making this decision given where we'd been the past 5 months. H said "maybe it's not for you to understand."

I also said what I've said on this thread-- that if he walks away from M, I do want him to walk away knowing how much he is loved, how important H and M have been to me. I was careful to say this in a way that did not sound pleading or emotional, just compassionate.

We've talked about this subject often because not knowing if he was loved "enough" was what he said when he moved out, so I thought it was OK to say it now. H was a bit emotional hearing it.

H later said we should talk more and that he will give me a call next week when he's in a better place emotionally. I was accomodating.

Other than this, I had a very busy week and had a mostly fun weekend. The facial and having good laughs with friends was just what this girl needed!

I'm hoping for a hairpin turn in this sitch-- I admit it. There have been many and H doesn't sound to me to be at all sure of why he's doing this.

But in the meantime, spring is here! My flowers are blooming... and life is generally good, even if the emotional waters are kind of turbulent.


wonder