Losers: Wayward Wife & LRT (9)

[Georgia Bulldogs]

I'd have you send a text message to the OM's wife saying something like:

I have reason to suspect my wife and your husband are still in contact. My 4 year old daughter claims to have met him out and about several times including the grocery store picking out a cake (and her birthday party is coming up soon). My best guess is that this happened on September ___. On another note, my wife and I have mediated our divorce agreement and she can finalize the divorce whenever she chooses and I'll be out of her life. She is procrastinating such and remains affectionate yet indecisive about reconciliation. I believe your husband's continuing affair with my wife is the likely reason she is unable to commit to anything but I could be wrong. I am reaching the point of not caring one way or another but I thought you should be aware. Also, perhaps he should be aware that if he has intentions of divorcing you to be with my wife permanently, that my children are aware of the truth about his destroying their family and neither they, nor I, will accept him into their lives. He will be voluntarily stepping into a situation where he will be resented and despised, indefinitely; and, likewise I'm sure you'll feel the same about my wife.

I've attempted to engage you in this battle for our marriages but you have resisted thus far. My wife has already moved out and filed divorce. There is little I can do. Your husband is the doctor with much more to lose (custody and money). He probably has no intention of divorcing you whatsoever. My wife is probably just a side piece of action in a short or long list of other side pieces of action these narcissitic doctors seem to accumulate while living their lives for the hospital and working long hours in close proximity with idolizing females. You could have blown this up a long time ago and I'm a little resentful at your apparent lack of follow through (again - I could be wrong). Your husband is a wayward liar. If you intend to remain married to him, you must make him accountable to you for his actions and his whereabouts in a verifiable manner. Taking his word about anything is merely enabling him. I wish you well.


It's worth a shot.

Have your "last date" with her and then demand she decide. Give her an ultimatum (realizing that her indecisiveness has no end to it until you give it an end). The ultimatum shouldn't be whether she finalizes the divorce or not because she could just prolong that and maintain this indecisive stance for months longer. Instead it should be YOUR boundary and what it will take for her to have the privilege and right to remain in YOUR life.

I would advise you to put this in writing in an envelope you hand her after your GREAT date.

Use the language I've discussed several times in your thread.

Something like:

As you are aware, I still remain in love with you enough to attempt recovery and reconciliation of our marriage in spite of your illicit and ongoing affair with Dr. Poopyhead (yes I am fully aware you are still spending time with him and talking to him as is his wife).. The mixed signals (affection and compliments) followed by indecision are slowing draining all the remaining love you have for her and you are just about done. Therefore, she has to decide now if she intends to remain in your life at all.

Starting today - right now she should be advised to not to see, speak or have any contact you whatsoever until she decides to commit to:

1. No Contact with OM (which should include a plan whereby she leaves that workplace all together - not just another floor)

2. She commits to a marital recovery plan


Then you must follow through. She must become aware of what life will look like post divorce with you GONE. She must miss you. She must fear and feel losing you forever.

Arrangements for an intermediary to communicate regarding the children should be in place. She shouldn't be able to call or even text you directly and child exchanges should be done through her parents, your parents or a friend. Do not even let her lay eyes on you.