One last thing I want to throw in to the mix: Do not discuss R.
Make sure she is coming to you. I think you have your head on right but in the moment you might think to throw a hail mary pass. Don't. Go with short gains like listening, validating and at the end, ask her how she wants to proceed if things go well.
Me:41 W:43 D:19 S:14 M:20 T:22 BD1: Mar 6, 2015 - wife leaves with son BD2: Mar 12, 2015 - restraining orders for 1 year