I spoke with my coach today and she said that moving my wife out of the MBR would be a good boundary to establish IF she has admitted to the affair or it is in the open. But since I know she is going to meet the OM and she doesn't know that I am aware, I would need to confront her. In doing so she will know that I have snooped and she will blow a gasket. Given her anger anger level right now, I am pretty sure that she will see that as an opportunity to pursue separation, etc. It is a matter of keeping my eye on the ultimate goal of starting a new relationship with my wife versus an intermediate goal of setting a boundary to protect my self esteem. It is an extremely tough spot to be in. What would I do if I did not have the information that I have. I guess that is why DB recommends not snooping. What do you do when you have information that she doesn't know you have? If you act on it it has consequences, if you don't act on it, it can eat you up.
