Mozza (13) + Links to success stories

[Ripe]

My kids have been mentioning the S lately. D7 aked me out of the blue while I left her mom. I replied that I did not, that her mom left me. She paused and ask why she did. I said I didn't know. That's all I could come up with on the spot and it's half true and the other half is just too complicated to explain to her, not to mention that it might come out wrong.

Mozza, I am facing the same situation and questions by my kids.
The other day, STBXW talked about an issue that has been deeply disturbing and upsetting her.
We told the kids about the divorce using MWD advise, as I told here. Since then, the kids have been asking me why don't I like their mother anymore and why don't I want to be together with her. I have given them an honest answer: I still like their mother and I would like for us to be together.
The kids then asked why we are separating but we have told them this is mum's and dad's business.
Obviously the kids now know it's the mother who wants the divorce and have been questioning her about this. S9 asked her: "why do you want to separate from dad?" and S7 answered instead: "because she doesn't like dad anymore."
This has profoundly affected STBXW, so she asked me what should we tell them. I answered we had agreed the motives were private and we would not discuss them with the kids.
She insisted we had to find a way to tell the kids it was not her fault and again I told her we should not discuss responsibilities with the kids. STBXW insisted once more.
Obviously she starts to be confronted with the consequences of her decision and is not liking them.
She fails to see we both are guilty for the marital crisis (I have told her I assume my share in that guilt) but she is the only one responsible for the divorce.