Abe, Mahhhty, asitis,
Thanks for the responses. I'd love to hear your advice based on a new wrinkle...

This morning d4 mentioned that she had met OM multiple times. I asked her when and she wasn't certain (she's 4 obviously) but she did mention a grocery store, picking out a cake, and something about a crown. Well, d4's birthday is in a couple of weeks and STBX told me about picking out a cake for d4. This was on Sunday!!

Ughh. I should have known she would have brought OM around my children. That certainly stinks but the potential recentness is startling.

I still think I get together with STBX but utilize this info to keep me grounded and my expectations low.

Me:35 W:30
D:4 S:1
Bomb: 01/08/15, discovered EA & PA
In House Separation: 01/14/15
W moves out: 04/05/15
I tell OM's W about A: 04/15/15
W serves D papers: 06/19/15
Mediation: 09/16/15
D final: 12/01/15