WAH, in the thick of divorce (pt 3)

[WhyUs]

Ep,

I am guessing this is a hearing for temporary orders such as financial or custody you talking about. Is that correct? If so, both my temporary custody and financial hearings took place before discovery was complete. We essentially had enough information for a judge to make a ruling on what should happen until the divorce is final.

[SunnyB]

Why, both Ep and I are in a collaborative process and the court is not supposed to be involved at all until the entire agreement is presented for a final judgment. There are no temporary hearings, that's all handled privately.

[ep0215]

Thanks Sunny, I was just typing that.

This is what freaked me out, my mind went right back to the night I was served. By fear throughout this whole process has been that he was going to do something again behind my back. When I got the notice last night for a hearing I immediately thought that he had stopped the collaborative agreement and taking this straight to court.

We aren't using a forensic accountant. We can't afford to have another professional on the team. We are supposed to be meeting next week but there hasn't been any progress so I think it's going to be postponed. Funny for someone who wanted this divorce so badly he hasn't really done anything to move the process along.

[SunnyB]

Thanks Sunny, I was just typing that.

Sorry, I wasn't sure when you'd be back around.

This is what freaked me out, my mind went right back to the night I was served. By fear throughout this whole process has been that he was going to do something again behind my back. When I got the notice last night for a hearing I immediately thought that he had stopped the collaborative agreement and taking this straight to court.

Yes, that would send me to panic mode, too. In my case, no one got served at all. In the same conversation I asked to move along with D, we agreed on the collaborative process, then we each chose a L, and our Ls contacted each other. There won't be anything at all in the court system until the final agreement. I'd freak out if I got something in the mail I wasn't expecting.

[ep0215]

Ok freak out over. I'm much calmer today. Even though I accept the divorce is happening I'm not ready for it to be legally over after only starting the divorce process less than 4 months ago.

[WhyUs]

Thanks for the clarification SunnyB. It is hard for me to catch up on all the sitchs from beginning to end.

EP, may I ask why you would need a forensic accountant. I own a business with WW and if I was not a CPA my L said he would have suggested one. I'm just curious so please don't feel obligated to talk about if you are not comfortable. I wonder how many people get into divorce and really need the help of an accountant.

I know my WW is having a hard time with understanding the financials and so is her attorney. They have already started speaking to an accountant friend of mine.

[SunnyB]

Why, I am using a forensic accountant. If you want to pop over to my thread I'll explain why later today.

[ep0215]

I haven't heard from H in a week. Not even a text. We went from having friendly, stress free convos to zip. Guess I will go back to not contacting him unless kid related. I didn't pursue and I only texted him if he texted first.

[SunnyB]

I haven't heard from H in a week. Not even a text. We went from having friendly, stress free convos to zip. Guess I will go back to not contacting him unless kid related. I didn't pursue and I only texted him if he texted first.

Ep, their cycles are tedious. STBX has alternately ignored me, bought me sexy lingerie (which I never modeled for him), ignored me, sent me roses, ignored me, kissed me. We've settled into something just above ignoring. I have no idea what was going through his head any of that time. Just stay your course.

[ep0215]

It's been 4 days since I posted on my own thread because I have been so busy GAL! It feels really good to be busy again and being around friends. Being back out there has really got me thinking about what I had been missing and needing for a long time. The last few months I had been forcing myself to get out there, now I want it. I am not a shy person, I like being with friends. I also don't mind being alone but something I wanted when we were married were couple friends. We have none! How sad is that? I wanted to throw dinner parties, game nights, etc. H wouldn't go for it. Ever!

I've met some new girl friends who have invited me out several times next week and I can't wait. I just wanted to post some positive changes and thinking this weekend.