The sex was good but infrequent. Up until the end it was almost exclusively initiated by me but just three weeks before the BD she was asking me. I think she was really trying but what I was not doing was too much. Kissing I hate to say was almost only during sex and not always. None since 3 weeks before BD
She did say I never helped around the house for years. Would complain about it not getting enough help. She also works full time in a high stress job that puts people’s lives on the line. I don’t believe that house work will save my marriage just maybe help lower her stress level. I don’t think she was throwing around excuses but more trying to get me involved with the kids, that was the most important thing to her. I will say that looking back I always had an excuse to not get involved work, sports, yardwork, never coached any of my kid’s teams. I don’t think I am a pretty good guy, I know better and neglected the things that meant most to me mostly due to inaction. If I was unsure I would delay or put off and hope it went away or someone else took it over.
What she complained about was when she started going out with her friends from work I always complained about not getting to go. I don’t think it is a case of her not being able to leave and do what she wanted. She will spend the first part of almost every day off cleaning the house, she really wants it spotless or she feel no one can come over. All of her friends have immaculate houses with beautiful landscaping and ours is not. I used to keep it up but then I stopped doing little things and it got out of control.
Actually helping with the homework has been the catalyst I needed all along to forge that relationship with our kids that just happens. She has always had it and I always wondered how it came so easily.
When we were first married I wish I could remember. Those along with others just seem to be missing and hurt the most. I am not sure what you mean by the pleaser, the giver would have been her and I would take everything. I would say she worked on the MR harder. I would always want to do special things but would not plan more I would want it to just happen. She is definitely the peacemaker but I was always the one to say I’m sorry not necessarily her. She probably said it thru her actions it was just not what I was looking for and would miss it.
Went back to school 2 night a week Go to the gym 3-5 days a week Started running Have a weekly event for my son and I.
How much does the work burden me? My job quite a bit. I have a new project that is going to take an enormous amount of time both inside the job and outside at home. A lot of reading and configuring learning new materials. When finished it will be good but the stress is very high. No I work 5 days a week with a commute that needs to change. Hour plus in ea direction longer on Fridays.
