Overcom, I am new to your sitch and am getting up to speed. What is clear is that you are having a very hard time and I really feel for you.
You are getting some great advice from well respected people here and you are doing your best to follow it, with some slip ups, which is fine we are all guilty of those.
One question asked that you don't seem to have responded to is how far through the DB/DR book(s) are you?
You have got The Lord on your side plus you are posting regularly on this forum, the one other string to the bow of those who are successful DB'ers is familiarity with and regular reference to the MWD book(s). Maybe this is something to focus on for the next day or so...?
- Nobody has ever learnt anything important from happiness and success; problems make us grow - Consult your plan, not your feelings - If you haven't set goals, how can you expect to achieve anything?
I am Azzork. I have been setting boundaries. It feels weird tho. Cause I've never had before...
Change never feels natural. Of course it will feel weird. Lets say I decided to live the rest of my life wearing oven mitts. Think that would feel weird at first?
Originally Posted By: overcom
Azzork I'm so sad and angry that he's taking her away. What should I do. Is there anything I can do?? I want to tear down walls
Theres nothing you can really do. You cant really tear down the walls, because you didnt build them. But theres no reason to keep building your own.
Hi avanti. Yes they have been so helpful and thank you for reaching out to me. I have read the dr 2 times and I'm still having trouble setting big boundaries such as tell h to pack his bags already and another issue is that I am having a really hard time is detaching from him... I need to respect myself and tell him he needs to go. I'm running a hotel. But I'm afraid that he'll stop paying rent and all the bills... why is this so hard... I read there are two main things to do before you can reconcile and it's to detach and gal. My 2 main problems. ..
Me 34 H 33 Married 2006 S5 D2 BD Jan 2015 EA/PA He moved out 2/2/2015 Came back 5/2015 Filed divorce papers 8/21/2015
Yeah. I feel like that too sometimes. The anger, the hurt, the coldness, all of that from W, and yet, somehow, I still believe. That feeling of "if i only had that ONE more chance..." but knowing that theres almost no chance that I will get it.
But thats OK. The work that I do now will pay off someday. It's my W's choice (for now) as to whether she wants to benefit from it.
Yeah. I feel like that too sometimes. The anger, the hurt, the coldness, all of that from W, and yet, somehow, I still believe. That feeling of "if i only had that ONE more chance..." but knowing that theres almost no chance that I will get it.
But thats OK. The work that I do now will pay off someday. It's my W's choice (for now) as to whether she wants to benefit from it.
You can do it, O. One day at a time.
Wise words. There's something settling when you realize you can literally do nothing to change your spouse's mind. Then it's all about you and your own life moving forward.
M 39 W 36 T5 M3 BD - 1/15 Separated - Same Day Served 9/15 D finalized 6/17
