IMHO your paragraphs are mixed and tell a different story than the one you are saying.
P#1 - I am fully aware.... You are not fully aware of the part you played nor as Azz says have you thought about the part she played. Remember the rules about believing half of what she says? Why on this count believe word for word? Here is why I strongly suggest for you to really look into what happened from an unbiased view point. I always think there is 1 real truth. Each party in a discussion has their own and then there is the real truth unbiased and unadulterated. You have your version based on your messed up mind. Hers with her own vision. Try and find the 3rd.
P#2 - I guess I am still.. You do not have to guess. Yes, you are STILL here and exactly right. For her it is over. You do not want it to be over. You still cannot accept it and you still want to believe that there is some hope.
P#3 - That we might find a way.. You are still hanging on to the idea that the M is not over. When you mention reconcile differences what exactly do you mean? All I have heard is how neglectful you have been. When you say our it must mean she has something to change? What is it? Does she know? Have you told her? Do YOU know? What does she think? What differences are there when you are blaming yourself?
The fact she says you will both deal with it means she still wants out. She wants a new life without YOU. That means a BIG reconciliation.
P#4 - Do I think... YES, you still think you have a chance of getting your marriage back. You are lying to yourself writing NO. Secondly your M IS over.
Do you really want to go back to the same M? Why not do what she has done and bury it. Now try and work on yourself to have an option to a new R with your W.
You have reached a point where you can look at yourself in the mirror and say I did everything that I could do to try and save it to try make it better... only thing is like Old Blue Eyes sang... you did it your way. Now try and do it the right way. You know how to you are just afraid of messing it up more. Crying uncontrollably and being a doormat to her ... pffftt really?
P#5 - How do I cope.. She already has told you. Her heart is NOT with you. That train left. What was left behind is bait which you are nibbling to every day. The prize itself is long gone. You still cannot accept this because she is there and doing things with you. Hence why you have to accept the reality NOW. Live the pain NOW and grow stronger from it NOW. So when and if she does leave it will hurt less and you will not go back into survival mode but handle it better. You also need to accept this in order to apply the advice given.
P#6 - Day by day (remaining summed up) You ask the same questions over and over and get the same replies over and over. If you need to vent that is normal and do it. It helps. If you come for answers listen and evaluate. No one here will give you the answer you are looking for at this stage. They are giving you the answers you need, not the ones you want. At this point you have a serious issue with acceptance on all levels. Until you overcome this you are lying to yourself.
One final thing G. And a bit of humour here... if she were to seduce you because she needed it, would she want the tender and sweet guy or the one who would tie her to the bed so she doesnt fall off? In which category were you when you met and in which are you know? chill
Oh and remember regarding the house thing.... it is just that, a house. What you want is a home and they also come in all shapes and sizes.
