Unfortunately my trepidation was validated last night.
We've been getting along really pretty well, had a good but busy weekend, and then she has another meltdown last night. Says she doesn't feel connected to me, can't be intimate with me, yada yada yada. It's really getting to the point where I know what she's going to say before she says it. Same words, over and over and over again.
I don't think I handled it very well; I got angry, because I had let myself get comfortable and hopeful. I almost preferred it when she would call me in the middle of the workday and scream at me about ruining her life, because at least then I knew where I stood. Now things are OK most of the time until things like this happen. The whiplash is killing me.
She says she's trying to process all our issues and move on, but how does repeating the same script to me ad nauseam help? I can't take any more responsibility than I have. There is no way on heaven or earth that I can do something that makes everything better. Basically what she wants involves time travel and never making the mistakes I made to begin with. She swears that she's invested in rebuilding our marriage. Really? The meltdowns are fewer and farther between than they have been, but when they happen, it's like nothing has ever gotten better.
When I say meltdown, she's not necessarily being angry and loud at me; it's more like she gets in this depressed panicky state and suddenly any progress we have made is just forgotten.
Is this what piecing looks like? I expected slow, but this erratic?
Ex Rzrback Me 43 Her 44 D11, D15 T21, M19 BD 9/9/2014 Piecing
Sometimes if you want to see a change for the better, you have to take things into your own hands - Clint Eastwood
