I understand why huddy asked if you can afford to move out. I personally think you would be better getting W to move out. If you decide you need space to deal with this, you tell her in house separation is not working and she should leave. You will need to do this in a strong way.
I understand your reluctance to separate but you are struggling too much as it is. IMO.
Again today you have received a lot of advice and support.That is something truly amazing to come out of this.
Good luck and DO something with the advice given.
R 25 years M 14 years S11 & S13 Working on it alone since Oct 2014 M in trouble a lot earlier (~2 years) Feb 2016. 1st R chat in a yr. Next R chat Aug'17 Still together