I almost did the belly thing years ago, but a friend talked me out of it...no tatts for me. Don't much like them.
Quote: This place really centers me!!
Me too. It's so good to get different perspectives instead of running on a gerbil wheel of my own assumptions and thoughts. I agree it's about him, it would have to be at this point. He says that too.
I get the impression H is still doing what my C had warned about: seeing "dissolving" his M as a way to feel better, rather than choosing to create solutions. So he frames his situation as a choice between two Rs or people instead of as the definition of his own life/values/goals, and blames his depression on his M.
And there is nothing I can do about any of that, if it's what he's doing. Sure seems like it sometimes.
Quote: The advice on "getting a life"....no this doean't mean to get your belly button pierced...is very good!!
Yeah. I think I need lots of stop signs... because I've done all the get a life things-- from major travel to starting a new business to my own personal growth work to a makeover and health/fitness goals to developing new friendships.
But what I have trouble with is that I still very much miss and would love nothing more to share these new parts of my life with H. I feel I have so much more to share now too... but I am with you in the want vs. need camp.
Quote: I know and you know that this isn't what you want, but he!! if he wants it so badly, let him do the work to get it and then give it to him. I guess this might be the only way he can see if this is what he really wants.
I think you're right, Lee. H emailed me about the web site today and asked if I'd made any decisions about the papers again. I plan to get them figured out this week. I emailed that in response and asked H if he'd made any decisions about telling me why he'd changed his mind.
I find it makes no sense at all for H to reframe me as positive, identify our previous issues as yes, fixable, say it is not about OW, want me to be a part of his life and then not work on the M. Certainly does leave me wondering what the M was ever worth to H.
The more I think of it, the less it makes any sense at all.
So... I've been building this thing... seems like Shoeless H should be here by now. ; )
