rd, do you know what stalemate is? That's what I see in your sitch when reading this thread.
You are waiting for her to say and do something, what is it? Is it clear in your mind or does it keep changing? Will that be enough? Are you over thinking things? Are you scared that you might get hurt, so are keeping yourself in your comfort zone?
She is in a mess and is expressing regret to everyone not just you. She's tried a few things to build a bridge toward you (the strength and durability are questionable but it is a bridge nonetheless) and gets cut off or blocked by you, eventually she may give up. Maybe your blocking indicates that's what you want anyway?
That's a form of stalemate. Neither of you can or will move.
Have you considered that actually you relationship is now the flip of what it was? She is now the needy, chasing one and you are "the can't cope with that" one.
Not suggesting you welcome her back with open arms but asking a what-if question is a proven way of probing without indicating commitment. Something like, "I know this is completely mad and it's not going to happen, but if you wanted to come back what would need to happen?".
That's a question enabling her to open up. If she says "I don't know" keep quiet, keep quiet anyway, don't break the silence, let her do that.
If she says "are you still there", say "yes, I wanted to give you time to think" then be silent again. When she starts speaking, really listen, beyond the words as well as what is being said. The next time you speak to say anything of substance is to give a summary of what she has just said. If she keeps on ducking or going off at a tangent, "that's not what I asked" is a reasonable response.
If it's all going nowhere, bring the conversation to an end with polite "sorry got to go, blah, blah needs attention..." excuse and leave it all hanging with her. You'll have left her with a lot to think about and you may get a "this is what I want" call or text back. If not, what have you lost?
Be bold and be measured. It might be something your W admired about you when you were originally getting together and she sees it as having gone away...
- Nobody has ever learnt anything important from happiness and success; problems make us grow - Consult your plan, not your feelings - If you haven't set goals, how can you expect to achieve anything?
