It's tough alright.I followed your old thread.Maybe you should put a summary her for others.It helps people advise.

I have no real advice at this stage but I wish you luck.

I would say start on your side of things or rather restart on your side of things first. You change, then being/acting different is what changes dynamics.

I feel your frustration and know how demotivating it can be when you seem to not be making progress. It is slow...... too slow but it did take a long time to get to where ye are too.

All the best


R 25 years
M 14 years
S11 & S13
Working on it alone since Oct 2014
M in trouble a lot earlier (~2 years)
Feb 2016. 1st R chat in a yr.
Next R chat Aug'17
Still together