I don't know why I let certain things get to me. Two days ago when H picked up S4 he grabbed a special glass and said he was taking it because his sister was throwing an Oktoberfest party. Ok. Today was her husbands birthday so I texted him Happy Birthday and to have a great day. I asked him if he had anything planned for his big 3-0, he said just a few people over to our in-laws house. Well good old FB - pictures just were uploaded and it was a huge party. This kind of thing just makes me so sad. I feel so discarded and unloved by my family, who I have always regarded as such and loved beyond measure. Ugh I can't even type anymore I'm so upset by it.
Me:33 H:36 T:13 years M:10 years S4 Separated 05/15 H Filed 06/15
Hi Ep, I'm sorry to hear about the party. It is one of the things I have found hard in my sitch - the inlaws response. My inlaws are transatlantic, so we saw them a couple times a year normally, but I kept in touch by email (more than H did TBH.) I felt we had a great R, and I was so disappointed that they haven't chosen to keep in touch. They haven't been critical of me that I'm aware, but I do feel cut out - like my R with them only existed because I was H's W - not because I am a person in my own right.
It is a hard thing to deal with - and the whole blood is thicker than water certainly holds true in many sitches here. It has helped me to think they are in a tough situation and it isn't always easy to know what line to take....so they avoid making contact or extending invites etc.
Take care xx
T 13 M 7 Me 48 H 46 SS 15 BD 7.14 PA D final 5.16 (H filed)
We receive & we lose, and must try to achieve gratitude & embrace with whole hearts whatever of life that remains after the losses - Dubus
Thanks Sotto - I'm trying to find compassion but I'm still too upset. They live 15 minutes from us and I used to see his family (without him there) multiple times a week. Now crickets... I hate it. I don't even know that I should say anything.
Of course my head is thinking "did he even feel anything about his wife and son not celebrating with his family" everyone's else's family was there. Probably not.
Me:33 H:36 T:13 years M:10 years S4 Separated 05/15 H Filed 06/15
Great morning at church today. It was just what I needed.
My help comes from You You're right here, pulling me through You carry my weakness, my sickness, my brokenness all on Your shoulders Your shoulders My help comes from You You are my rest, my rescue I don't have to see to believe that You're lifting me up on Your shoulders Your shoulders
Me:33 H:36 T:13 years M:10 years S4 Separated 05/15 H Filed 06/15
Tuesday is the only night I don't have plans and that excites me again. I believe the vacay from GAL activities is causing my down. I know by this time next week I will be exhausted but exhausted from fun. I will put on a happy face!
Stood my ground to my mother tonight. Not something I would have done before. I was filling her and my sister in on the party incident and all she kept saying is "this is what is to be expected. Don't ever expect them to treat you any different" it was said in a very smug way. I said that comments like that are not helpful. I just want you to listen, etc.
Me:33 H:36 T:13 years M:10 years S4 Separated 05/15 H Filed 06/15
I don't know your relationship with your mom, but I deal with an extremely immature and spiteful mother. I think they mean to help but are just at an entirely different emotional level. I will give you an example...when my husband was coming to pick up my boys he was late as usual. Of course this was upsetting me. She actually started going around making bets as to what time he would arrive to pick them up. She was using this sing song voice and it was just so immature and upsetting. I know he's selfish but I am having a hard time coping and this was so instigative. its like can't she see, this doesn't change the situation or hurt husband, it only hurts me.
Just wanted to share cause maybe our situations are similar.
Last edited by JulieH; 10/05/1501:59 PM.
Me: 42 H: 43 Twins age 5 Physically Separated 7/2015
Ep, sorry about the party. In-laws are tricky. I get along beautifully with mine, in fact SIL is one of my biggest supporters, but I am ever aware that he's their family and I am not. They have been wonderful, but time will march on, and we'll see what happens.
I've had a bit of heartburn lately with people we used to hang out as a couple now hanging out with STBX and the duck. How could people who used to say they were my friends now hang out and laugh with and swap stories with a woman who ripped my family apart? It's hard to come to grips with.
Guys, I got a letter in the mail today for a judge heading on November 9, we do not have anything signed yet. I'm freaking out! I'm so not ready for that! I haven't even seen his financial affidavit. His party has had mine since July. I'm hoping this is a formality since I spoke to my L today and he thought we should post pone our next collaborative session since his side was behind. I'm so not ready for that action. Wtf! What happened?!
Me:33 H:36 T:13 years M:10 years S4 Separated 05/15 H Filed 06/15
Stay calm. Your L is correct. You should try and postpone since you have not received the requested information. I will say it does seem a little early to postpone. If you receive it in tbe next couple of weeks I am not sure postponing will be necessary.
Me: 30's W: 30's M: 12yrs EA: Started 3/2015 MC Started: 4/2015 She moved out and served 6/2015 PA: Confirmed 10/5/2015 2 young kids
"If you do not stand for something you will fall for anything."
Ep, I'm not sure how that happened as it shouldn't have entered it into the court system until the collaborative agreement was complete. Definitely something for your L to handle. Are you using a forensic accountant?
