Was at the house trying to pack stuff up and she showed up to get some of her cloths. Daughter was with grandma so She sat down and talked with me for a long time. I broke down and let a lot of what I had been thinking out. Felt better afterwards though. I wasn't so concerned about getting her back. more concerned about myself not sharing my emotions when I get the chance. I know it's supposed to make me look weak. And against the rules. But for me it felt empowering to confess my fears to her and not worry about whether she approved. So I felt stronger afterwards.
I am afraid of the future. But I don't care if anyone knows it. I think everyone battles that fear. And for me at least, the first step in conquering it is admitting it's there.
I hope I'm starting to turn the corner of accepting that there's nothing I can do to change her. But there's a lot I can do to change me.
M: 29 W: 28 D: 8 S:1 M: 10 T: 11 BD1: 8//15 (physically separate) Back together: 4/16 BD2: 3/18, physically separate 6/18) Here we are again.
