PP 2.0 - PigPen & The WAW (7)

[asitis]

I know where you are coming from on the being baffled by irreconcilable differences when there has been no real effort to reconcile. My W just told me she was down to once a month w/ her IC who wasn't sure she even needed that. I let out a little "really, with all your issues?" before I could catch myself. She said I don't really have any issues. Just swallowed a big STFU smoothie.

Wanted to bring up last weekend, her covering over so much anger toward me, seeing me as the cause of all her unhappiness, her destroying a family despite not working on our issues. Still amazing how much I can get triggered by the self-denial and taking the easy way out.

I keep telling myself that there is really nothing I can do or say that will wake her up to the self-deception, and that even trying would not be good for us. Knowing that is one thing, but even with all my calm and detachment, it is still hard not to have it rile me up for a bit in astonishment and disappointment with her.

I know my reaction should be, oh goody, she just showed me something else I can be working on in myself. Still doesn't feel good in the moment.

Hang in there.