PP 2.0 - PigPen & The WAW (7)

[PigPen]

Sunday morning journaling. Hope all you DB'ers are having a peaceful weekend.

Still in NC with WAW, meeting with a L tomorrow to go over the few details that are in involved in my D. Meeting with the L after being served has made all of this very real and still upsetting but I'm detaching as best as I can. I view the D as a painful process that I have to go through before moving on to the next chapter of my life. Like a hard workout, I know the next few months have some painful parts, but the worst is over.

I've got Woofie for the next week and am enjoying him immensely. Lots of trips to the beach, hikes, and park. He's such a joy and is actually the only part of the D that we both disagree with. Well other than the reason.

Our paperwork states "Irreconcilable Differences" but that's not really true in my opinion as we actually never tried to reconcile them! It is what it is though.

My DB'ing has come down to completely accepting that I'm getting D'ed, and moving forward. GAL is still at an all time high, I'm meeting great people, enjoying myself, and putting together a year long project for next year that will take me around the country and to different parts of the world. It may be a year of running, but feels like a year of healing and adventure. At the end of it I will have something to share with people that will be of real value and that makes everything post BD worth the pain.

I question whether I'm still DB'ing, maybe at the latest stage where acceptance is all that you can do while continuing down a path of self improvement, or if this isn't DB'ing any more. When I see my WAW for dog swaps, I'm pleasant and honest, but don't actively "use" the meet up for any kind of purposeful advancement.

Cadet says that the LBH always has the final say in when the R is over, and I'm still battling with this thought daily. Many times I've thought I understood it and then many times I feel like I have no say what so ever as to the outcome of my sitch now that the D ball is rolling.

I know the control I do have is how I continue to react to everything, to chose faith over fear, sobriety and self improvement over numbing and acting out. Maybe that's the final choice we all get to make.

Happy Sunday DB'ers.

PP