no need to be sorry darling. I can just turn you off anyway
why? because you are human girl. this grief is bigger than us remember. it is just a human condition/response. we are lucky. we are afforded the luxury of grief. we are the upper echelon in this karmic cycle.
hopefully without undermining emotions or god forbid LOVE, think of it this way:
everything that you think and feel is in your brain, commanding different chemistry, using different networks etc. you have a 20 year worn track in your brain where H was there. it is like the Nile through your brain.
now you have diverted down a small creek. at every opportunity your brain will try to get back to the Nile. once you are there you will rationalise what and why it is wrong and you will be angry, miss him etc.
the trick is to go back to your creek. it WILL widen into a beautiful river, and after a while the pull of the Nile will diminish.
whilst on the river theme, paraphrasing the Hunters, "pain lies on the river side", it will always be there. your job is to keep swimming.
[censored] him. i can understand "letting him have it" - but honestly IT will never be realised. you will always think of what you should have added blah blah blah. As 25 said to me once "being angry at someone to punish them is like lighting yourself on fire to get smoke in their eyes"!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
let it go Smoth. rejoice in the +ve. wish him well in finding his. guaranteed if you can do this in your heart, you will achieve 2 things: 1. every time these sort of things come up you will be able to shrug it off, even feel sorry for him and wish him more of the same goodwill ^^. 2. if you can wish HIM all the best, happiness etc, then moving this focus to yourself should be easy AND being compassionate for yourself, loving yourself, wishing for yourself future happiness and forgiving what mistakes you might have made IS THE SECRET OF A HAPPY LIFE.
kisses my darling Smoth xxxx
-Py
M: 6 T: 12 Kids: 2,4 BD: Jan 2015 S: Feb 2015 EA/PA confirmed: Feb2015/Mar2015
